Choosing a Spiritual Practitioner That’s Right For You

Andrea Lawrie
Jun 5
4 min read

Updated: Oct 22

In a world where spiritual language is everywhere – from “energy healing” to “ancestral work”, it can feel confusing to know who to trust. Over the years, through my own training, mistakes, and guidance from teachers, I’ve gathered some reflections on what integrity looks like in this work. I offer them here not as fixed rules, but as questions and touchstones you might find useful on your own path.

Many Ways of Knowing

The question of who we can trust in a world filled with promises of healing, knowledge, and transformation is one I return to often. It comes up in conversations with peers, in supervision, and within myself. It’s not an easy question. Spiritual language appears everywhere these days, from Instagram captions to therapy rooms. Sometimes it’s deeply rooted. Sometimes it’s surface-level. Discernment is part of the path.

Recently I came across a post warning people to avoid anyone who describes themselves as “spiritual” or who speaks of ancestors. While I understand the caution behind it, it felt like a sweeping generalisation that risked dismissing whole traditions. For those of us who walk this path with care, community, and commitment, I wondered if this conversation deserves more depth.

Science and Spirit as Companions

My own path weaves together many years of work in private sector, voluntary sector, local government, healthcare and academia, alongside a long journey of spiritual study, personal healing, and practice. Rather than seeing science and spirituality as opposites, I’ve come to understand them as two languages that can deepen one another, the measurable and the mysterious, the physical and the felt.

Spirit Across Cultures

Across time and cultures, humans have spoken with “the unseen.” From the Toltec wisdom keepers of Mexico to Aboriginal Elders of Australia, and the seers and folk healers of Scotland. Dreams, ancestors, spirit, and land have guided people’s lives and healing for thousands of years.

Scholars like Mircea Eliade, Michael Harner, and Barbara Tedlock treated shamanic and other Indigenous healing practices as meaningful knowledge, not superstition. Carl Jung explored dreams, symbols, archetypes and the collective unconscious as key to psychological wholeness. And emerging epigenetics research, such as Rachel Yehuda’s studies, suggests that experiences can leave biological imprints across generations, shaping gene expression.

So, to speak of spirit or ancestors is not necessarily a red flag. For many, it’s a way of remembering who we are.

What I Look For

As interest in spiritual practices grows, so does the number of people offering them - sometimes with little training. I’ve found it helpful to notice how I feel with someone, and to ask myself questions such as:

Do they seem to be doing their own ongoing healing and learning?
Do they have real teachers, mentors and a lineage they honour?
Do I feel deeply listened to, rather than impressed or performed at?
Do they meet me with humility rather than hierarchy?
Do I feel my own sovereignty respected, or subtly undermined?

And when something feels “off,” I ask:

Are they claiming exclusive knowledge or authority?
Do they discourage questions or feedback?
Does their language override my intuition rather than invite it?
Is there urgency, secrecy, or pressure to commit?
Do I sense they’re subtly creating dependency rather than empowerment?

For me, integrity is rarely loud. It’s quiet, consistent, and deeply human.

Beyond the felt sense, I also look for the practical safeguards that create safety: professional insurance, regular supervision, a published ethical code or complaints process, and a transparent consent and record-keeping system. These may sound boring, spiritual and formal, but to me they’re signs of accountability, respect, and genuine care.

Gratitude for Teachers and Lineage

No one walks this path alone. I wouldn’t be where I am without the teachers who shaped my understanding and I want to honour them here:

Richard Pavek (1995) – physicist and founder of SHEN® Therapy, who opened my eyes to how emotional energy is stored in the body.
Dr. Evgueni Faidych (1995) – my first shamanic teacher of Siberian lineage, who taught me to listen to the land as teacher.
Rev. Master Jiyu Kennett (1997) – Zen priest and teacher whose approach to meditation grounds me in the every day.
Midwives, educators, and academics (2009) – who taught me the value of evidence-based care and research.
Usui Mikao Sensei (2016) – founder of the Usui Reiki system.
Two Birds Cunningham (2019) – from Embracing Shamanism, who lovingy bridged Indigenous African, Toltec, Native American and plant medicine traditions with depth and respect in her teachings.
Dr. Sophie Messager (2020) – who passed on the rebozo and “Closing the Bones” traditions with deep care for origin.
Tiffany Stephens (2021) – who shared the Munay-Ki rites, rites of the womb, and Andean wisdom with me.

And always, my own ancestors - from Scotland, the Orkney Isles, Ireland, England, and the Cree Métis First Nation people, whose resilience and connection to land live through me every day.

Listening to Yourself

If you’re seeking someone to walk alongside you, the most important questions may be:

Do I feel more like myself with this person, or less?
Do I feel my own power invited, or subtly claimed?
Do they honour the roots of what they teach?
Do they speak with honesty and humility?

I’ve learned to trust my instincts. Once, I sat in a workshop where everything sounded inspiring, but my body felt contracted and uneasy. I left, knowing discernment isn’t just about intellect, it’s about listening with our whole selves and trusting that our intuition is more often than not, right.

In Closing

I would be a shame to assume that everyone who uses spiritual language is untrustworthy, it can close us off from authentic traditions that hold wisdom for our healing and wellbeing. Equally, avoiding spiritual language or leaning only on science doesn’t necessarily make someone safe or ethical. What matters is how someone lives, learns, listens, and leads. And often, you’ll know just by the way they respond.

Trust your instincts. Ask questions. Honour your own wisdom.